Jan 8, 2017 – Inadequate

Feeling really irritated today. I think my period is coming. Otherwise I don’t have another excuse for the things I’m feeling. I still feel the despair from time to time, especially the past couple of days. I can never win. I can never be happy. What am I doing still existing? There is no point….

Jan 4, 2017, oops, 2018

Happy New Year! Can’t believe how long it’s been. It seems like such a long time ago when I was covered all in cuts and bruises. Now they still hurt from time to time, but the pain has eased a bit, and scars are barely showing. I have been thinking pretty heavily about me, myself,…

Dec 20, 2017

Whenever I’m bored, I kinda always open this website to jog down whatever is in my mind at the moment. I finally summoned enough courage last night to call my mom and talked to her about the trip. I’ve already put in my leave and bought the train tickets, so it really doesn’t matter what…

Dec 18, 2017

It’s Friday, the last working day of a pretty decent working week. Tomorrow my Kat will go under the knife for a routine surgery and lost the ability to be a mom. My boss is off to the party with all the big shots and I’m planning to leave early, too for a dinner. So…

Dec 14, 2017

It’s been a while. Not that I don’t want to but I, the last couple of weeks have been the rare occasion of being pretty busy. I kinda sorta organized a big event for our location. It was trivial, busy, yet somewhat fun. I just realized recently that I lost the disc of me going…

Nov 6, 2017

Well, this time it lasted 3 weeks. Whatever it is , it ended last night. He asked if I wanted to come over for a little afternoon fun. I said so we are just going straight to that now? He replied, I don’t know what I want. That was clear enough a message for me….

Oct 31, 2017

There were a couple of songs that when I first heard it, I cried. Only One – Kanye Rainbow – Kesha And today, one more is added to the list: Nancy Mullligan – Ed Sheeran It’s a sad thing – I’m sure I’ve already said it somewhere in this blog – to realize that you…

Oct 22, 2017

I just got my teeth cleaned…The dislike for brushing teeth caught up on me. My front teeth situation is not so hot. And it does not help that I smoke. I’m right now sitting in a Starbucks trying to work, but apparently failing. My therapist, we we only talked twice, told me that I should…

Oct 17, 2017

So just found out our company has a program for employees who need therapy free of charge. You can arrange phone sessions as much as you need and talk about whatever that’s troubling you. How awesome! I already had one session last week and scheduled another one this Wednesday.  It was more than I could…

Oct 12, 2017

So the first week of October is our national holiday. I took the week off before that and went two straight weeks without working. Nepal is almost every bit of what I expected. KTM is dusty as hell, and busy, and beautiful, and full of culture. Basically there is a temple, big or small, on…

Sep 21, 2017

I went on another little trip last weekend. I like these kind of trips. I would take the Friday night train to and Sunday night train back from wherever my whims go that weekend. Very shorted noticed, little time to prepare, and a whole ton of excitement of on the road. At what point can…

Sep 12, 2017

Sep 8 So much shit was going on today that my little mind almost cannot handle it. Long story short: I’m going to see my dad next Monday. The only thing is, I haven’t asked my boss for the time off yet. I’m putting it off solely on account of my cowardice. Sep 12 It’s…